Guru's Eyes

Look for the eyes of the Guru 

The eyes that are a way to love, 

A love that seeks no attention, 

Expects no awards. 

A love that is so tender, 

That it will melt one and all. 

These eyes speak 

      A hundred and more silent words.

They hold within them the vision of creation. 

When they look at you, 

They will emit out a light 

That will swallow all the darkness. 

It will guide you to a path 

That knows all right and no wrong. 

Look for these eyes, 

And once you find them, 

Close your eyes, 

Hold on tightly to His feet, 

And know that you are saved.

(Source: Sai Darshan by Seema Dewan)

Practicing the Presence of God

I clicked on the youtube link to watch one of Swamij's Morning Messages and saw several that caught my eye, including Practicing the Presence of God. I've been drawn to that topic and experienced real peace whenever I read those sorts of spiritual books. So even though there were other juicy topics, like Super DNA and Genetic Science, I chose this one.

As I listened to Swamiji I realized that what He was expressing about seeing everything even when His eyes are closed exactly matched an experience I had during my recent stay at Bidadi. You see, something very unusual happened to me there one morning when I walked up to the ashram temple. Maybe some would call it a mystical experience. I just call it 'a knowing'.

The morning session of Nithya Yoga was over and I decided to go to the temple in the hope of sitting with Swamiji during Pancha Tapas. I walked up the road and as I got close, I could hear the Maha Mantra playing over the loud speakers. I left my sandals in the usual spot and just moved past the sign at the top of the road.

I looked over and saw my beloved Swamiji, sitting still, eyes closed ~ resting in samadhi. Then it happened. Even though the physical form of Nithyananda was over to my left in the fire circle, where I could see Him with my physical eyes, I could 'feel' Him everywhere all at once.

Even though the eyes of physical Nithyananda were closed, I knew without a doubt that Swamiji was (is) the Energy everywhere and inside me. He was palpable to me as that Energy. And I could somehow tell that He was aware of EVERYTHING that was going on there ~ who was coming and going, what was happening ~ you name it, He KNEW it! And He seemed delighted. That's the word that came to my mind to describe His Energy in that moment.

Swamiji, the real Swamiji, was the Energy everywhere, His presence was everywhere. He was aware of everything, and to me it felt that He was just delighted to watch the show.

I can only say that it was/is a 'knowing' that happened inside me, a realization, even as I walked and watched all the goings on myself. (Without His 360 degree vision, though!) Maybe it was a glimpse of a different dimension, who knows. But, how ever this experience came to me, it was a precious gift and it was a very sweet, intimate blessing.

I guess calling it 'very sweet' may seem trite to some but I don't know how else to describe it. In many of my internal experiences of Swamiji, it is very clear, very subtle, very loving, very natural, very blessed and very sweet.

When I watched His message tonight, I knew from my own direct experience that what He said is true. 'He observes. He observes everything even though He sits with closed eyes.'


When He says He sees, He sees! When He says He knows, He knows! And when He says 'I am with you', He is not just uttering a few words of consolation. It is the truth!

And so we can celebrate!    

When He guides us to practice His presence all the twenty four hours of our days, it is because it is possible to experience Him in that way. He IS the Energy everywhere, beyond all time and space. He is not just in His body and not just at the ashram. If we take up His instruction sincerely no matter where or who we are, at some point we will merge with Him, the real Nithyananda. Swamiji's physical body may be one place but He IS with us, wherever we may be. (Certainly so many of us experienced that during the months of the scandal when physically He was away from us. And throughout the World Tour in 2009 He was continuously reminding us in darshan, 'I am with you', perhaps as a way to prepare us for what was to come!)

This is not some impractical technique. Nithyananda is the most practical being I've ever met and He has never led me in the wrong direction. Swamiji only gives us guidance that is truth and for our transformation and enlightenment. If He says practicing the presence of the Master is the only way, then it is. If we really want to radiate enlightenment, then this is how to go about it.




He lives with us so that
we can learn to live with Him!

Swamiji blessed me with this experience. Because it is private, I had mixed feelings about ever sharing it publicly but when I listened to His message I felt compelled to do it. I am sharing it in case someone doubts or denies the power of His compassionate instruction to us, or wonders how it is possible. It is possible.

When I am in the energy field at the ashram or temples I experience it. I am lifted to a state of intensity, joy, awareness, tremendous confidence and productivity ~ all facets of the one pure diamond. But it is not always like that for me when I am at home and that is the problem.  Once again, He is giving me the solution.

My sense is that He is asking us to actually become the energy field of the Master by imbibing the Master. We can achieve this by doing what He says to do instead of just listening to what He says to do. (I'm talking to myself here!)  Not just by imagining it in our minds but by physically raising our energetic frequencies through this process of living with Him.


I can say that my life going forward really depends upon me taking up this practice wholeheartedly.  When Swamiji says, 'You are enlightened' I experience that. But I've seen that my body and mind are not able to 'hold' it, to radiate it continuously.

I wonder, 'Have I really been devoted? How much have I been 'on the path'? Is my sincerity really sincere? Is my urge really urgent?'  I ask these questions with compassion but also with as much ruthless honesty as I can generate. I guess the answer is in my life and my experience. Somehow I have been holding back. At some level I must be giving lip service without living it completely. I experience the gap. There is some hypocrisy.

It's like the saint who said that it is the lazy person who worries. At first I didn't get it but then I realized that if one isn't vigilant with unclutching, being aware, practicing the presence, then the old mental patterns will just persist. If we are lazy, nothing improves and everything gets worse.

And so for me, it is time. Time to dive as fully into this practice as I possibly can. Take the next step and the next and be guided by Swamiji, here within me and everywhere around me. Let whatever lower experience I have with Him be burnt away. Let my hypocritical thoughts and actions be ironed out. Let me experience in every moment what I realized on that morning. Let me relax into His presence and rise into His frequency with every breath, every movement, every awareness, every moment.

Let me take His message and His blessing to heart and live it.

Swamiji Answers My Prayer

                                                                        

For a long time I have resisted writing a Nithyananda blog and any writing in general.

Writing is a part of me that I wrestle with. Maybe it's because I'm always writing in my head and frankly, the inner chatter is annoying. I want the silence and bliss that I can only experience when the mental noise is stilled. And keeping up an incessant inner 'report' for the world has brought me anything but peace.

I became aware of all this writing 'noise' a few years ago. The more I analyzed my mind, the more I saw an undercurrent of 'writing' and 'teaching' going on inside, as if I had a virtual audience inside my head, patiently waiting for my next post or class.  Anytime I read a really inspiring book, this inner voice immediately fantasized about the class I could create or I started writing snippets of articles to share with the world. Some people are always thinking about blending spices and foods, creating the next delicious meal. I'm always thinking about the next inspiring post but I never write it.

Finally I decided that enough was enough! I didn't seem to be able to sit down to actually write so I would not write 'virtually' ~ not even on my own inner 'screen', so to speak. My plan was that no matter what thought came up related to 'teaching and sharing' with others, I'd do my best to unclutch from it. As far as I was concerned there was no place for writing or teaching in my mental chatter. Let it just dissolve.

Unfortunately, I couldn't walk away from this so easily. Nearly every time I sat down for Nithya Dhyaan meditation, ideas for articles about my beloved Guru would rise to the surface. By the time I got up from the sessions, the thoughts had disappeared and I was drawn into my daily routine, never to write. But I began to wonder if this is my path. Could this be my prarabdha that must be exhausted? Is this how Swamiji is using the mission and seva to transform me? Should I be writing? I was at a loss and nothing was shifting.

Having all these creative ideas and not expressing them left me with a lingering sadness, as if something precious had been lost, something important hadn't been shared, some path to transformation hadn't been taken. Eventually, to solve this dilemna I did the only thing that I knew I could trust: I turned to Swamiji! I sat at His photo in our meditation room and just poured it all out to Him.

'You know what's going on here, don't You? I'm struggling with this and I don't know what to do anymore. Do you want me to write? Would it be useful in some way? I'm afraid that if I do, I'll somehow lose my way spiritually, even though that might not make sense.

I don't want anything to get in the way of my transformation and it feels like all these 'writing' thoughts are doing just that. I don't trust myself with this so I'm giving it to You, Swamiji. If You want me to write, then You have to let me know, clearly, directly, in some definite way, please. I need to know that it's coming from You and that it really is okay for me to do this; that it won't be a distraction from merging with You. Please, Swamiji, please let me know one way or another and I'll do whatever You say.'

I left the room relieved, knowing that somehow, some way His answer would come.

And it did...

                                                              
                                                                      
A few months later, I found myself in Bidadi, Nithyananda's ashram and my blissful, sacred spiritual home. I came for a ten day course during the Living Enlightenment Process. As we settled and blended in with the LEP group, one of the ashramites gave us a talk about seva and how Swamiji  had designed it as one very important aspect of the process. Each of us would get to join an existing group and Swamiji had requested that we each start a blog and write about our experiences during our time there.

Bingo! It hit me then and there in the meditation hall. My answer!

I just burst out laughing at my amazing, compassionate, unbelievable Guru. My heart overflowed in awe and gratitude. He brought me all this way to answer my prayer in such an undeniable, clear way. My mind couldn't play tricks with this answer and try to wiggle out of it. He declared in no uncertain terms that writing about my experiences with Him is one part of my sadhana and it cannot be avoided any more.

Swamiji let me know that not only could I write, but I must write and by making the answer so obvious to me, He gave me His assurance that everything would be fine. I don't have to be afraid that I will lose my way. He will guide me and take care of me as He has for jenmas (lifetimes). Swamiji can see things from my lives that I can't see. He knows where I am blocked and He knows I need to do this to overcome whatever resistance and fear is there for it dissolve. He does this for each of us.

                                                                

This is the power of our living Avatar, Paramahamsa Nithyananda. He is with us everywhere all the time, ready for us to connect with Him, unburden ourselves, transform, serve, celebrate and live in bliss.

He is my mother who wipes my tears and consoles me. He is my father who gives me courage, inspiration, and redirection when I stray from my path. He shows me the way and is utterly determined to have me live and radiate enlightenment.

We are not beggars hoping to become billionaires. We are the billionaires who have just forgotten where we have kept our wealth.

Nithyananda is bold enough to constantly declare that we are enlightened and have merely forgotten, that's all! He walks with us day in and day out as we pass through our lives, guiding us in such subtle and profound ways. He has the clarity and focus about His mission and NOTHING can sway Him from that, not even scandal and prison. As I've heard Him say, 'You may imprison me but I will work to liberate you!'

There is no experience or relationship in my life that can even glimpse what I experience with my Guru. It eclipses everything. It is so hard to put the unspeakable into words.  And how hard it is, impossible probably, to convey this to someone who has never experienced Him.  All that I can say is this...

Don't miss Him. Don't miss this chance to experience the Master and your own enlightenment.

It is possible. He is here for all of us!

                                                                  

Teachings of Paramahamsa Nithyananda on Youtube

Talks on Inner Awakening

Official Website of Paramahamsa Nithyananda

Living with the Master

It is nearly five am when I leave my room and walk across the ashram to the yoga hall. Even this early in the morning, weather in south India is comfortable, no need for an extra layer of clothes. The predawn light is just enough to help me avoid the muddy monsoon puddles and slippery clay roadway.

At the Anandeshwari Temple in the distance, smoke is filling the sky. Workers are preparing the fires to create hot coals for the daily Pancha Tapas session. Paramahamsa Nithyananda and his disciples each sit in the middle of a fire ring, meditating and radiating healing energy for all beings and for our planet. This powerful practice is one of the subtle and arduous techniques developed by spiritual masters over many thousand years in the Vedic culture of India. Fortunate visitors to the ashram usually sit nearby, also meditating and tuning in to the vibrant silence that radiates from Swamiji and the group.

                           

On my first morning here, I had the chance to sit, observe and take it all in. As I watched my breath for a few minutes to settle down, one word came to mind - gentleness. The whole space was filled with gentleness. Wow! As the minutes passed, that gentleness bubbled up in me, rapidly melting away any strain and fatigue from the four flights and forty + hours of travel from Washington state to the Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam ashram near Bengaluru, India.

Back home is my lovely son, the cozy king size bed, and the hectic western routine. I’m here for two weeks and an intense meditation program conducted directly by Nithyananda. I am here to learn how to bring myself into alignment with Spirit. I am being guided and beautifully watched over by the greatest living spiritual master available to humanity today.

I feel like the luckiest person on earth! No, I AM!